Weird title? Perhaps…but hear me out. I am a substitute teacher and each and everyday that I walk into a school it’s a new adventure, an adventure that you simply cannot make up. I’ve had days where I have literally sat in the classroom with my jaw dropped in disbelief at what is going on. Today, I want to share with you some of my experiences. Trust me, this will definitely become a series because I have many stories to tell.
Snotty McSnotty Pants:
One day I was subbing for an elementary school, my least favorite if I’m honest. I passed out the papers that students were to work on and I also passed out pencils to the students. I finally took attendance and sat down to breathe a sigh of relief that I had gotten some things done and the class was settled when suddenly…an 8 year old child comes up to me with snot dripping from her nose down to her chin and asks (without shame of all the snot on her face) “excuse me where are the tissues?” Little did she know…she had just walked right by the massive box of tissues.
Pencil Breaking Rebels:
This next Pencil Breaking Rebel story happened the same day as Snotty McSnotty Pants. I spent 20 minutes of my break sharpening pencils for the students so that when they came in there was no need for them to get up and sharpen pencils. I kid you not, I spent 20 minutes…20 minutes of my break sharpening, sharpening, sharpening. The second graders came into class, sat down and immediately started purposely breaking the pencil points. Can you believe it? Imagine my frustration.
Can You Sign This Please?:
This is my latest baffled moment. I just had a student come up to me with a permission slip and ask me if I could sign the permission slip as his parent…I’m working at a high school. I said no, obviously.
Hope you enjoyed these baffling stories. Please do let me know below if you would be interested in me sharing some more!
P.S. I wasn’t even planning on posting today but I just felt the need to share these after the permission slip incident happened.
Oh yes keep them coming! I’m a teacher too, but I only work with adults. I was giving an online English lesson to one of my students and I don’t think her bird was enjoying it. So he flew down, landed on her iPad and ended the call!
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Hahahaha, oh my that is quite hilarious!! Thank you so much for coming by 🙂
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Hey, I don’t know if you’d be interested, but I’m doing a teacher q&a on my blog. Would love to read your answers! https://englishwithkirsty.com/2017/03/30/teacher-qa/
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I’m chucking at the Snotty McSnotty Pants story. But why should she be ashamed of the snot on her face now that she’s already walked past all her peers with it on her face? LOL! Kids are really hilarious to me. Bless your heart, Bea.
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She clearly had no shame what so ever! She was almost proud that should could produce that much snot, I suppose it is quite the accomplishment for someone of her size! I was still super grossed out to say the least! Haha, thanks for coming by 🙂
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Oh yes! Please post more of these! I love that you’re a teacher!
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Haha, I will be more than glad to share my stories! 😀 Thanks for coming by 🙂
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Hmm… I am going to ask my kids how they behave when they have a substitute teacher!!
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Haha, oh my please do! Ask them how the rest of the class behaves too because you’d be quite amazed at how nuts some get the second they see a substitute! Thanks for dropping by 🙂
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I feel these are going to be some amazing stories! My favourite part about the Snotty McSnotty Pants was that the kid was so polite in its question! Haha
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Oh yes, she was super polite but I was super grossed out! Thank you so much for coming by 🙂 haha
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I’m a teacher/tutor. Please share more hahaha
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Haha, I more than likely will 🙂 Thanks for coming by fellow teacher/tutor !
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You’re welcome!
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These are great! I teach Kindergarten and always joke that we could have our own TV show. Even though some days are super hard, the funny things they say and do make it worth it. I laugh every single day. 😂
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Haha, yes!! We definitely need a TV show because you seriously cannot make some of things up! I’m always so amazed at what each day brings. Thank you so much for coming by 🙂
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That’s hilarious! I can’t wait to hear more of these, you should definitely make them into a series!
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Haha, thank you so very much, glad you enjoyed it Natalie! Have a lovely day 🙂
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Great stories. I feel your pain and I only subbed for a few months. I was in pre-K to grade 12 but I didn’t have too many issues with the kids. What I found challenging was the teachers with poor sub plans or when the admin would walk you into a room and say, “The teacher just had to leave so if we want you to take care of the rest of this class.” I think that’s why I now have a low level anxiety disorder.
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I 100% agree with the poor plans! I absolutely hate it when I have an awful class and than I am left with no plans! I feel as though if the kids have work at least some of them will attempt to do some of the work! Thank you so very much for coming by 🙂 !
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One time I wasn’t supposed to be available but the school begged me to come in. I said okay but only until noon.
After I arrived, they had me here and there with some busy work then they took me to the grade 3 class. The teacher was there and she said, “The principal has to go and I am taking over for her. I didn’t make a sub plan but you’ll be fine.”
I still have flashbacks…
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Ohhhh how awful!!!
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Fortunately, I survived to fight another day.
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Too funny! Keep sharing this wonderful little moments! xx.
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Most definitely will 🙂 ! Thanks for coming by!
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Thanks for sharing these stories, I loved reading them! “Can you sign this please?”…I literally laughed out loud!
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Hahaha, that one happened today! I was in shock! Thanks for coming by !
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I would love to tell you that it gets better-but i am not going to shine you on! I have been teaching for 20+ years and have seen those stories and could raise you some really crazy things! I can promise that the good days will outshine the bad and in total the career is worth it. I would not have done it any differently (except that I would not have taught that semester of sophomore biology in a public school district!) Hang in there!
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Hahaha, thank you thank you. Trust me, I laugh it off most days but it still is shocking that certain things happen! Haha, thanks for coming by!
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I would love to hear more! I got a great laugh out of these!
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Haha, I’m so very glad you got a good laugh! I’ll be post more soon 🙂
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Haha! I loved these stories! I feel your pain on the breaking pencil one! Aggg!
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I was so shocked when they all came in and I saw them breaking them against the table just so they could go and sharpen them….what’s so special about the pencil sharpener?!! Ahhh. Thanks for coming by haha!
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Especially after you spent all that time!!
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Exactly!!!
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Please keep them coming. It reminds me of how awful I was as a kid, but in a way that lets me laugh at myself instead of hating myself
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Hahaha, I’ll keep them coming! Thanks for coming by 🙂
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I love these! I taught elementary school for eight years and I’ve seen plenty of snot and vomit. There were so many things the kids did that the only response was “Dude, seriously?”
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Haha, that’s my response on a daily basis ! Haha thanks for coming by!
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Yay! A fellow substitute teacher! Nice to know that I’m not the only one experiencing those crazy days!
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Oh trust me you aren’t ! Hahaa 🤗
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Omg! I’m currently a student right now and in one of my classes this kid made minions out of pencil erasers! He even had names for them. Tbh it was really creepy.-foodandfunstuff 🍒💕
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Hahaha, woahhhh, that sounds quite interesting! Not so sure how I would handle that if I saw! Thanks for sharing 🙂
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How did you get into teaching
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I’ve always wanted to be a teacher, ever since I stepped foot into preschool !
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That’s cool! I want to be a journalist for CNN or something like that!=)
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Ohhh do you?! I wish you the best of luck in doing that :D!
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Thanks! My neighbor is actually a producer for them!
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Woahh, so that has to be very good for you then!
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I remember being a substitute and I subbed all grades when I was first starting out. The 2nd and 5th graders really seemed to like me, but the 2nd grade boys REALLY did. The first couple of times I subbed this one 2nd grade teacher, several of the boys wanted to give me a big hug. I thought they just thought I was cool and a fun sub. Then by the end of that day, I realized they wanted to hug me–most likely–because I’m short and their head was level with my boobs.
Yeah, I started doing the “personal bubble” thing REAL fast after that.
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Oh my goshhhhh!!!! At that young age?!?! That is insane!! Thank you for sharing your story! Have a lovely day! x
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probably learned it from t.v. and older brothers or something…amazing what youngsters know that we wish they wouldn’t.
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Hahaha I love these substitute stories and am on my way to read the rest! I work at an elementary school and can totally relate to some of the really weird things kids ask you. One time at recess some girls came up to me to tell on their friend. Their accusation was this: “Miss, we were playing the dragon game and our friend said it was BORING.” In my head, I was like – “what do you want me to do for you?!”
Can’t wait to read the rest! 🙂
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That is exactly how I feel when kids come up and say things like that!!!! Haha, thank you so much for coming by and I’m glad you are enjoying the series! x
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Omg I don’t know how I still didn’t read this series yet. I’m going to binge-read now 😂
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Haha, there is plenty to read! x
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